On Sunday, October 13, the diocesan celebrations of the Day of the Lost were held in the sanctuary of Divine Mercy in Kraków Łagiewniki. Families of lost children attended the Holy Mass for the lives of their children.
The Holy Mass in the hr of Mercy was presided over by Fr Jacek Kędzierski, the manager of the Centre for Perinatal Care of the Blessed Ulmów household in Sieradz, and concelebrated, among others, by Fr Janusz Kościelniak, the diocesan pastor of families of lost children.
“I trust my sister”
Fr Kędzierski started a homily with a moving certificate: On this peculiar day and place I entrust my sister Eve. Mom was 9 months pregnant. Eve could not be baptized due to the fact that she was born dead. There was no Catholic funeral, no priest, no Holy Mass. My dad and my grandma buried Eve alone. I remember our parents telling us that we have another sister in heaven," the priest recalled.
– What hit me was the fact that Mom and Dad utilized to talk about her as individual alive and present. I must admit, confronting the death of unborn children leaves a mark for life. And this is the mark my dead sister left in my life," Fr Kędzierski said.
“I couldn’t get myself together”
Today, the priest, who serves as manager of the perinatal care center, admitted that he did not anticipate to always service families after losing children. – And yet I became a chaplain of the infirmary and attended funerals of dead children. During the first one, erstwhile I saw the body of a tiny child, the incredible pain and helplessness of my parents, it was so hard for me that I could not recover for respective weeks – Fr Kędzierski confessed. It may sound strange, but then I experienced very powerfully that man is the work of God. That there's more to this than just a combination of father and parent cells. The developing kid bears the footsteps of God the Father," he added.
Fr Kędzierski besides mentioned 1 of the next hard goodbyes: – The kid was lost to parents who waited long for them. In the 5th month, losing a child, incredible pain. Mom couldn't believe her beloved kid was dead. erstwhile she held them on her hands and petted his head, she said, “I would love to feed you so much.” I remember then she asked me where her kid is now," the priest said. “There is no ready answer at times like this, no wise words. You gotta say what your heart dictates. I told her I believe that their kid is with God in heaven. And she, looking for confirmation, asked me whether I truly believe it – Fr Kędzierski shared.
– Then I realized that religion in God as the Creator of man is only the starting point. Her question was whether I actually believe God that their drama is not the end, that death does not have the last word in their lives. Their kid did not die forever," explained the priest.
“It is hard to trust God”
Fr Kędzierski admitted that under the circumstances of the child's death, 1 must trust God, although it is not easy. – religion demands assurance in that God is good, that he seeks the good of man. I must admit that specified assurance comes with difficulty during all these goodbyes, even erstwhile you are a priest or chaplain – the pastor confessed. – It is hard for mothers to believe in God's goodness, due to the fact that they feel blessed just due to the fact that they could not have children alive, they could not feed them, that their motherhood was brutally interrupted. Hence the pain of longing for a kid and the pain of longing for being a parent for this peculiar child," he added.
The priest besides referred to the mourning suffered by the fathers of children lost: – Fathers are frequently locked in themselves, they endure defeat due to the fact that they did not prevent the death of individual who was entrusted to them. In addition, they feel like being tough, supporting their wife, frequently forgetting their pain and grief," he said. He besides stressed that the issue of upbringing has an impact on specified an attitude: – due to the fact that we guys were so raised that we were not allowed to cry. That is why we frequently cannot decently experience mourning – he said. Fr Kędzierski emphasized that fathers must not be forgotten due to the fact that they besides endure from the death of a child. – You should be close to them, show that they can show weakness, helplessness and tears. So that they did not just enter into the function of husband, but entered the function of father – he explained. "You must admit that the mystery of your suffering, of your parents after the failure and death of unborn children, is overwhelming us so humanly, but the Gospel of Jesus," he addressed his parents.
John Paul II’s Teaching on Trust
The priest besides recalled the words of Pope John Paul II: "He came here to Lagiewnik, and learned to trust in God after all. I believe that he wanted us, Poles, to gather in this basilica, so that we could learn what God is and who man is," he said. – The Pope taught that Man cannot be full understood without Christ. Rather, man cannot full realize himself without Christ. He cannot realize who he is or what his appropriate dignity is, nor what his calling and eventual destiny is.
– It is no coincidence that we are here, where God’s mercy is to be poured out all over the world. He invited us here to, possibly for the first time, look at God as the 1 who loved your children. In God's love for these children, we should besides see God's love for us. To believe that He created us out of love and to Him it does not substance how long we live in this world. To Him it is crucial that we be with Him in eternity, due to the fact that He created us for eternity," Fr Kędzierski said.
“Your children did not die alone”
– I think God invited us here to hear that your children, so humanly lost, are not God's way. To see that God wanted their lives. He, before they were conceived and born, had already planned their coming into the world. He gave these children, like all of us, a guardian angel. Therefore, dear parents, you can be certain that your children did not die alone. The angel of God was watching over them, whose task was to bring them to heaven," said the priest.
“You must forgive!”
– Dear, it's no coincidence we're here. It is here that 1 must learn this demanding merciful love. This is simply a perfect chance to forgive God himself, nevertheless it sounds. Cardinal Wyszyński said that 1 must forgive God that He acts as He wills, although it hurts us," explained the priest. “We must realize that man besides needs this forgiveness. possibly your husband needs him, due to the fact that you felt someway hurt and abandoned by him due to the fact that he could not realize how you were suffering, he turned to women. possibly you should forgive your parents, your grandparents, for not being able to comfort you erstwhile you suffered from losing your child. possibly they pretended nothing happened. Or was it due to the fact that they couldn't, didn't know what to say? possibly they accused you of not wanting to have a baby, that you're selfish. possibly they did not know that you lost 1 or 2 or 3 children? – Fr Kędzierski said.
The priest emphasized that it is besides essential to forgive the kid who passed away: "It is essential to accept the hard fact that the kid had the right to live but had the right to die," he explained. And he added, "I think the most hard task is to forgive yourself: for having attributed ourselves to the fact that the kid died, for accusing yourself of being underconsidered. All insignificant negligence, which had no impact on the life and wellness of the child, must be forgiven," he stressed.
Fr Kędzierski besides discussed the burial of lost children: You may gotta forgive yourself for not taking the remains of your kid from the infirmary due to the fact that you didn't have the courage and strength... due to the fact that so much pain, so much suffering. To forgive myself to be able to live again, for husband, wife and for another children," he stressed.
“God will surprise us”
– Dear, I would like to say that this Christ, whom we see in this laity image, is worth trusting. I think he's going to surprise us. He there in heaven prepares an amazing gathering for you, a gathering with your child, whom you did not have the chance to meet, meet, hold hands – he spoke to the gathered in the sanctuary. present it is worth deciding that it is worth living, it is worth making specified decisions to meet this kid in heaven. That's what I want you with all my heart. May Christ's love prevail. This love, which is stronger than any death, ended.
Karolina Krawczyk
