Yeah, and I was waiting for the election once, but the circus animals were on the ballot card, and the audience put up a cross next to their names. The circus has remained, the crosses have remained, only alternatively of joyful waiting for the celebration of democracy, is full of anxiety and tension waiting. I'm waiting for an election in a kind of horror-like mood, I want to have fun and scare myself, hoping fear will turn on the fun alternatively than destruct it.
Why the anxiety? I am just more and more afraid that on election day I will learn about my country and about us Poles, things I like not to know. I mentioned here a fewer months ago about 300 meters from my house, right in front of the Chancellery of the Prime Minister, a monument to the erstwhile head of the government, Jan Olszewski, and about his celebrated question "Whose Poland is Poland?", which is visible on the back. The question is important, although until Rusek came to us, worthy of the apparent answer "there will be Poles".
But more crucial than the question from anything is for me questions, which are echoes and consequences – what is Poland and what are we? Those are the answers to those questions I'm so afraid of in the next election.
I admit that during the years of the PiS of darkness I frequently had a feeling that although there are the governments of the PiS organization any perverse perversionism, they are and a mapping of what Poland is, that is, that this national-Catholic anti-communist in the form and communist content of the fresh Polish folk on steroids, are an anomaly, but provoked by reality. This means that it is not an anomaly, but a norm, that Poland just is, and only we do not want to accept it.
A lot of this fear came out of me on October 15, 2023, and I actually felt that the nightmare was an anttract, and normality is the norm. But I'm not hiding that there's a Post-Pistic PTSD in me, the fear that the nightmare went distant just for a moment, jumped for half a liter, and he'll be right back. And he'll beat and wreck again.
Of course, PTSD is constantly fed by polls. I don't gotta wait for election day to know that almost half of my countrymen are ready to vote for fascists, imbeciles, lowlifes, gangmates, Moscow people, homophobes and anti-Semites. So for half of my countrymen, it is absolutely acceptable what is totally disgusting to me. And as Orwell rightly wrote, "those who vote for idiots, losers, cheaters and traitors are not their victims, but their partners."
The answer to the question "who are we?" is to a large degree now, before the elections. We just don't know if this part is almost most or most. That's adequate to be frightened anyway.
And I, to be honest, for the next fewer years of the PiS, if this crap were to come back, I no longer have the strength, the desire and health. I don't want to fight for democracy again or even worry about democracy. I want to enjoy democracy and normality. Citing Jan Lechonia: "And in spring, I will not see Poland".
20 years later, Lechon stopped seeing Poland in general, until finally, out of grief and grief for Poland and after free Poland jumped from the 12th level of the fresh York hotel. possibly he regained peace of head in the cemetery in Laski, where he is buried next to Antoni Słonimski, who with Jewish-Polish brilliance and autoironia liked to repeat "could have been worse".
There's something about it. My late parent was naturally optimistic, but if something didn't work out for us, she always kept saying, "It never happened any worse." In the Polish People's Republic, it was even sometimes called socialist pessimism, "there will be changes and there will be changes for the worse."
So it can come back worse again, but I can no longer endure another long-term barking "it's a nightmare", mobilization of Młynarski ("let's do our own") and motivation of Gałczyński ("and again stubbornness to emergence and go again and scope the goal").
I inactive want to live without all day seeing Kaczyński and his thugs. Not anymore. That's enough.
Time to get to the point. It must be to balance the insignificant speech of this text, optimistic, possibly even battle. The exclamation of "all of Poland forward" is literaryly weak, so it is out. I like the optimistic, but inactive embroidered with ridicule and skepticism, the conviction of the Słonimski: "Poland is specified a unusual country where anything is possible, even changes for the better".
