There are so many words and actions you should refrain from, so you don't spoil the atmosphere. Another broken dinner, so many broken dinners!
Sara Ahmed
I don't enjoy the mustache jokes. Humor, which any colleagues sometimes consider to be "intended/understandable for men", is just sexism. I don't like feminists taking into account only white, consecutive and female pressure. But before I could feel the problem, Sara Ahmed came. She said I was just a spoiling fun. Feministic spoilt fun. Thanks. That's what her book does. Feminist Guide ♪ Make fun ♪ it is an invitation to a table for everyone who does not like sexism, racism, homophobia and another forms of discrimination.
Every spoiling fun will find something for itself. But who is this character? As the name itself says, it's individual who spoils the fun. And he does it in different ways: by not laughing at “innocent jokes”, reacting to offensive comments, and sometimes even leaving the room/chat (in the 21st century, in the days of online contacts it is worth mentioning and this form of leaving). It is 1 of those people where “joy fades” and there is nothing to say. It's not hard for you to spoil fun. At first, it is clear that you request to silence or talk at the right time, but then it is adequate to be present to change the atmosphere in certain circles. You don't know anyone who spoils the fun, changes the atmosphere, and the conversation with her is little sticky? Well... this book could be more useful to you than you think.
He's in jail.
News is an crucial subject in Ahmed's book. Here are any examples of “another broken dinner, Sarah” [1] spoken by the author's father. For how could she defend herself erstwhile sexist attention came to her all day with this meal? That's not the way it works.
What do the spoils of fun discover according to Ahmed? That any bonds, even (although sometimes: especially) with their loved ones, are subject to conditions. Moreover, any at any point prove unfulfilled. This gives emergence to many dilemmas and the necessity to settle which bonds are warm, good and upbuilding as from the endings of household films, and which are simply destructive. What about the others?
Sometimes they are torn off for their own good (how long can you endure negative attention and deficiency of listening? A year? Two? 10 years?). Sometimes he just keeps quiet. As Ahmed notes, "When individual you love makes opinions that are more than problematic for you, sometimes you like to stay deaf to them due to the fact that if you truly let them sound like a broken glass, the sound of something that has just been shattered." all spoilt game, apart from ostracism, is frequently faced with dilemmas in its own backyard.
♪ Suck the fun out of spoiling fun ♪
Here, however, the substance does not end. To fight for the rights of those discriminated against, it is very easy to become an exclusionary person. Sara Ahmed accuses white feminists of taking the tide for themselves. It is easy to overlook the situation of people who do not seem to fit the mainstream – non-heteronormative women, colored women, trans. Yeah, well, luckily, there's bad fun among feminists. Activism frequently requires giving up self-confidence and beginning up to another experiences in order not to enter into the positions of people for whom you are a problem.
So it is crucial to take an effort to see. It's about identifying yourself as a spoiltfun, but you can't ignore your own attitude towards another spoiltfun. Care must be taken about their survival, their solidarity. Here, solidarity cannot be about bringing everyone to 1 level, pretending that there are no problems. No, we can't pretend we're the same and each struggles with the same thing. According to Ahmed, “Solidarity is not about the presumption that we are fighting for the same thing, that we feel the same pain, that we hope for the same future. Solidarity involves commitment and work, as well as recognizing that even if our feelings, lives and bodies are not the same, we live on common ground." That's it. That's it. Consciously being spoilt is an effort to work on yourself, to respond to injustice and discrimination, to exchange experiences, but besides to rest. The author clearly states in her guide that he is crucial too. That spoiling fun gives a 100 percent but no more. It's not about self-destruction, it's about the fact that fighting for self-respect and respect for others, you gotta have it for yourself as well.
You'll never walk alone.
Yes, the protest password is utilized here consciously. due to the fact that spoiling fun is not alone. Although Ahmed gives himself a hard time in his book, it requires commitment, working on himself, constantly verifying his own convictions and expanding his horizons, he does not say that this is an effort in isolation. The table invites, as has already been mentioned, anyone to whom discrimination, patriarchy and acceptance of injurious schemes and roles are „because they have been for years and no 1 has complained”. As support gives his guide, he invites another known spoilt fun, including Audre Lorde, bell hooks, or Reni Eddo-Lodge. She invites you to exchange experiences, which already happens at many meetings around the book, on discussion forums and frequently under the posts of various organizations promoting her book. And all to make this planet a small more bearable. So it's worth reaching for A Feminist Guide to Make Funto find a mirror in it without filters, cognition and motivation.
[1] All quotes and examples were taken from the book: S. Ahmed, A Feminist Guide to Make Fun (translated by Magdalena Kunz), Warsaw: Wydawnictwo Krytyczny Polityczny 2024.
