“My daughter’s friend said she wanted to commit suicide”
Martyna Wojciechowska.
That was the beginning of the project. ‘Young Head. beginning up about intellectual health” (click here if you want to enter the authoritative website of the project) founded by this writer and traveller. In short, it's about teaching first aid in a child's intellectual crisis. Teaching children, teaching their educators and teachers, teaching their parents and guardians.
In Poland, the situation is as follows: A kid in a intellectual crisis must wait in line for psychotherapy at NFZ for up to a year and a half. And this despite very effective discouragement of this form of aid by stigmatizing children and parents (this means that there are even more needy people and the queue would be longer if all kid in the intellectual crisis were waiting in it). Yeah, yeah, speaking of stigmatization, I mean, hatred led by all those beets that call people who usage intellectual counseling psychos, freaks, pathology, etc. In practice, this means that minors are only treated in specified a serious state (here I will usage a medical comparison), as if only in the 3rd and 4th stages of cancer were applied to an oncological clinic. We usually talk about children with visible anorexia, or after suicide attempts and self-inflicted injuries, possibly with a drug problem (alcohol and marijuana are drugs too). However, adults frequently refuse to cooperate. They refuse to participate in joint therapy (it is the unheard brat who has a problem, not them), and above all they do not intend to change anything in their lives, especially in relation to the child. This manifests outrage erstwhile you leave the intellectual office and comment “This scientist does more than good. For him it is all the responsibility of his parents.” And erstwhile I hear a parent like that, for the sake of the quantifier he used, I know he's making up his head that a scientist like the best friend would confirm what a great, flawless parent he is, and this kid, it's not known who he was born into. It is besides interesting that the kid is "born into individual and is already so", in no case is simply a product of upbringing. Unless we are talking about external influences (bad colleagues and teachers), due to the fact that in specified a great, perfect home, it could not have happened.
Maria Peszek – I do not understand
That's right, "guilty." In specified an assessment society as Polish citizens, it seems besides frequently that the scientist decides on guilt, which is simply a complete nonsense. Psychologist's not a judge. A scientist tries to diagnose the problem of patients by trying to get a image as close to the actual state as possible from under the veil of self-presentation, curses and understatements. However, this is not always possible. We know that if a patient does not tell the doctor that he has been vomiting blood for 2 days, and alternatively of stools having bloody diarrhea, it is hard to blame the doctor for not diagnosing tummy ulcers (he will do so only erstwhile he gets the results of tests and observations, and this will take time). Why, then, do we resent that the scientist did not diagnose anorexia erstwhile the patient assured that he was eating 3 meals a day and his parents confirmed it? However, I will return to the issue of mistakes and educational negligence that drive children into a intellectual crisis. Something that makes me tremble from the place of anger is the parents' translation that “they gave their children everything they could.” Then I think to myself: Holy shit, another perfect, flawless parent. They gave “all they could”, and here this stupid brat cut his wrists or OD'd on drugs! But it is inactive not a substance of guilt and punishment, but whether these parents will give themselves a chance to learn something, due to the fact that they have another kid and it would be good to have it alive and fit for life on the loose! How can you anticipate another effects without changing behaviour? How can you talk about improvement by repeating the same pattern?! It reminds me of a late blogger who, in a fiery statement, always knew what to do, never chose the incorrect path. A touching example of a non-development confession. She was perfect right away, and so she remained unchanged until she died.
Nick Cave, Shane MacGowan – What A Wonderful World
Speaking of "they gave everything they could." How easy this phrase is identified with consumer needs. And I even realize that erstwhile individual grew out of poverty, starved and starved, did not realize spiritual needs, self-fulfillment, respect, etc., but even if we limit human desires to these material things, there is manipulation in this statement, due to the fact that parents gave what they wanted to give, not what they could. And frequently money was utilized as a origin of pressure. For example, the promised distribution of wealth. I am referring to my colleague, who is “the bad one” due to the fact that without the grace of his household he stays distant from Poland. The good ones are his older brother and sister, for they got their share of the inheritance while their parents were inactive alive and built on it, at the household home, of course. And they can be forced to follow orders all day. However, the 2 brothers who have gone far distant are the worse ones, they cannot be controlled at a distance, so not only do they not have access to their part of the inheritance (ugly speaking, they must wait for their parents to die), they are inactive terrified that they may get nothing. In practice, even “giving everything” to children in easy - to - number material matters does not look like what the publisher wants. It is even more hard for improvement opportunities.
Metallica – Fade To Black
Sometimes I halt at blog discussions on educational topics and announcement a certain correctness. Well, while searching for excuses for parental errors and neglects, net users show unlimited imagination. The excuses for a parent are without question: From dense childhood, through hard life, problem at work, on finances. Worse with excuses for the baby. Sometimes I think that these cynical devils gotta be, what they premeditatedly usage "fashionable intellectual formulas" (I don't truly know how, if they don't have contact with a psychologist), in any case they're just trying to figure out how to make life hard and poison everyone around them. Because, of course, in these considerations, the details are eluded, specified as the fact that the child, knowing the world, is investigating the limits of his ability and this is simply a average component of development, and alternatively his absence should be a origin for surprise or concern.
Another regulation is to regularly complain to injured adults that they are “required” (to this day I do not know who requires it) for parents to be perfect. That's the biggest bullshit I've always heard. If I require adults to do something, it would be wise for them to accept that they are imperfect and can be wrong, and therefore, it would be reasonable to change their course at least in areas where they do not cope. Unfortunately, that's out of the question. They don't even want to hear about their mistakes, “because it's so hard to raise” that it's better to make up your own method and consider it perfect.
Last Saturday, I read the news that a 28-year-old man killed his 29-year-old wife and then committed suicide. They lived no more than 200 metres from where I grew up. She educated and beautiful, he tall athlete in the kind of statue Adonis. They worked, traveled, neighbors shocked due to the fact that they looked compatible and loving. After reading their “freaky” profiles, I got any suspicions about their personalities, but I will not share specified far-reaching hypotheses, besides much tragedy to usage in this way. I mean, erstwhile individual dies, there's nothing we can do. I had rather a number of tragic deaths in my immediate household of young people, sometimes very young, which in no way could be called random. My wife, the Spruce, was like that. This does not mean that we are peculiarly distinctive in this field. We just keep our eyes open and remember that part of the household would alternatively not remind us of it. People are besides frequently bloody cowards, for self-presentation they will lie not only about life but besides about the death of loved ones.
